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Kurt Angle, one of the world's greatest competitors at WWE, has been released from his contract. Kurt did a lot for the wrestling business, he was an intensely vivid, brutal, devastating force in the WWE and he will be sorely missed. He quit because he was in a lot of pain and to spend time with his family.

Kurt's success in the ring did more than gain him mere wrestling titles and plaudits, it earned him the title of civil rights pioneer; you see, Kurt Angle showed every penis what they could do if they put their mind to it and ignored the barriers of bigotry to strive for a greater tomorrow.

Kurt was born as the penis of an Oregon farmer who was extremely bitter with life and would not allow people to come close to him, physically or emotionally. He lived his life plowing the fields and reaping the harvest, sunset to sundown, summer to winter, boy to man. He became more and more resentful of the fact that his penis had a personality; penis persecution was even more rife than it is today, a penis was to be seen and not heard. It was to perfrom simple tasks to the benefit of the rest of the body whilst receiving no recognition or reward.

Kurt would not settle for this though, and emancipated himself from the farmer's groin one summer's eve. An outcast, he tried his best to fit in, trying to be a good penis. He tried hair implants for some time, and won an Olympic gold medal for the good ol' U.S. of A. Kurt could not hide from his heart or the truth though; he was a penis, a walking, talking penis.

Kurt decided to join the WWE where he excelled, winning lots of matches, and showing the world what an angry penis could do. Revered for his uncomprimising ring style, many will be unaware of the community outreach work performed by Kurt with willys all over the nation, and indeed the world, who felt they were not worthy of a place in society. For every 1, 2, 3 count secured by Kurt you can be sure a dozen johnsons took a hold of their new lives as empowered dicks and were able to hold their head up high whilst lifting weights.

Now Kurt has put aside the tights to devote his life to the procurement and preservation of winkle rights. Andre's Mucky Tights salutes him, and all dicks alike.

Daryl, from "Adventures in Babysitting", was a walking talking penis in denial till Kurt aimed some home truths at him in a bar.